so much has happened in such a short amount of time! i got back from vacation and have been so tired since. i think i need to go get my bloodwork done, or get some b-12 shots, or something, because i have been so sickly and tired lately, boo. getting back to work has been a slog, since it is so nice out.
sometimes, i think i do a bad job of keeping myself present. i have so much anxiety for the future, about the fig tree branches unfurling and the places i will be and the people i will meet and all of that. frankly, it is exhausting.
i am working on a few fun creative projects. for one, working on a new zine, called quilt historian, which will feature interviews with two detroit artists. also, have been chipping away at redesigning this website. i like what i currently have. i've been practicing guitar prodigiously. i went to music go round and purchased a electric guitar, a cream and mint partscaster for my birthday. it is my new prized posession! i also am in a band now, a summer fun girl band, with my friends julie and maredith. julie's in urbana-champaign visiitng friends, but we'll have our first practice once she gets back, if all goes to plan. julie and i have very diverging thoughts on band names that i hope we can solve!
change scares me a lot. i remember and keep on thinking of when i moved away to college five years ago. i was nineteen and i had never lived away from home. all i wanted was to be seen, i think, by people who liked me. and i got to that point, being around so many people all the time. and i had thought, in my head, that i had worked up to that point. in a way, it is all unfurling. that makes me sad, seeing people who were so apart of my daily routine go off and do their thing.
i am making a choice to be very deliberate. i want to go to the river and dip my feet on the banks and rocks. i want to write a lot of songs and eat a lot of ice cream and be very slow and kind and cute in the world. ok. goodbye!
i went to chicago this weekend. i saw the heavenly show, which was lovely. amelia fletcher, you are after my heart. what i have (long) appreciated about their music is how they encapsulate the sweet and the strange - always ready to wear their hearts on their sleeves, make fun of themselves...do something different. i had skimmed their newest record 'highway to heavenly' - and really enjoyed the song "scene stealing". meeting (ok, well, seeing your heroes at the merch table) is always daunting.
now i am back and trying to settle back into old ways of thinking, old routines. we got most of the stuff for the garden. i want it to be hot outside again. i want to wear tank tops and jean shorts and sit on the porch and watch the cars and people go by. i could do that every day, for the rest of my life, if i could. being there made me think about wanting to (eventually) move there. i like my little life here so much, but it is comfy, frictionless. the trees are beautiful, the downtown is so charming, the ease of amenities (the bus, library, food coop in walking distance etc.) make every day feel like richard scarry's busy town. when i was a kid, all i wanted to do was get away from the place i was from. now i'm leaving it and it is hitting me whole. oh my..
i feel silly spending too much money on stationary. oh well. need to search "washi tape usages" on the internet now.
ok. i am back home for the weekend. it is my dad's birthday (on monday) but we are celebrating today...we are going to this place called birdie's, and my little sister got him cake.
this month has been smoothed over with much sadness and pain, but i am trying to stay strong! so much of my day i am just trying to hold it together.
other things i want to work on...my readings for my class, some of this website (mostly just making it more cute and adding pictures - it feels kind of barren now lol), learning this new song on guitar. the song is very easy, "indian summer" by beat happening - but i am a bit of a novice. my guitar teacher sold me a little martin this week and i am very thankful to him. it is in great condition, and fits perfectly. i am still reading my book, "just kids", by patti smith. i love the story she weaves of her and robert's life together - two vagrants, entwined by fate, surviving on luck, instant coffee, stale bread. she makes life in the hotel chelsea seem ...so happenstance. oh and i am watching courtney love interviews. she has recently been in the news again because SHE HATES kim gordon. i know she has her haters but it was funny when she hexed billy corgan and he lost ALL his hair.........
i was sad i wasn't able to go to community hatha yoga yesterday, and haven't been for a while. i want to try to get in some movement, but it seems like every time i come home i immediately want to go to sleep at 9:40pm, lol.
gaea and i saw mirah yesterday at gingko records. it seemed like a pretty quickly put together show. kathy lea, of detroit band 'soft location' opened - her airy, meditative vocals filling the room. she was only equipped with a mic and loop station - and seemed to be lost in the flow..it was really powerful and pretty.
mirah came up next - and her voice really shines through. it is tinny and bright like a bell, but not sweet. she sang songs from her new records, 'dedication', which i will be sure to check out in full..songs about her babies, being a mom, about growing up and old in the country...when i first listened to mirah's music, i was 11 or 12. i discovered her and other favorites from then and now (the softies, adam green, regina spektor, jaymay) on pandora internet radio. she made life seem beautiful, intricate, and exciting. she finished her set with 'ordinary day' and passed around a handheld bubble wand. really special, sweet show. gaea slept over that night. this morning, we drove to work together but got cold brews beforehand. i forgot how tasty they can be...my coffee tolerance has gone down significantly.
so special, so sweet. gaea invited me to go with her to may day in minneapolis. i really wanna go and see the parade and take pictures and eat some good food.
i am writing to you with a cup of coffee and i'm watching cars come and go along state street. i have not had a hankering for coffee for a while.
i took time this weekend to work on the website, which i had been belaboring for a while. i spent my morning in bed, looking at the baker creek website, planning my garden for this upcoming season. last year, i took the project up myself in the co-op, mostly using starts sourced for free (!) from our local campus farm. i got a few other leftover plants from a farm job i had been working at, briefly. two small but mighty boxes supplied us with fragrant thai basil, fronds of rosemary, fuzzy cuban oregano. this year, i want to amp up veggie production, and have some fun things planned, including gem corn, thai soldier beans, and purple okra. oh, and lots of strawflowers, because they are the very best. we salvaged lots of bricks, so i will also build up a herb spiral.
i've been in a bit of spiral lately food wise. ever since i graduated it has not sparked the same joy. working outside
i saw a video yesterday that says spring needs a rebrand, and to that i say, how come? spring is good enough to stand on its own, in my humble opinion...though we have had a weird spring so far...it is too cold. i say, soak up the warm days when you can.
it is palm sunday! i remember last year, me and my friend charley finn were walking to the farm and garden fest, and our friend mare's ex handed us a palm frond. i got a zine on making homemade indigo dye there, that day.
today, i am hanging out with my family who will be in town, and then, we're gonna get lunch somewhere. sometime after, gaea is gonna come scoop me and we're going to go to the mirah show at gingko records. mirah has been a childhood favorite of mine, especially her songs "exactly where we're from" and "sugaring" - her early stuff is sophisticated pop sweetness. gingko is a cool venue, and has been getting great acts. i should listen to dedication, soon.
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